I know it has been some time since I’ve written. Life has been a never ending stream of thoughts that have prevented me from doing much of anything. I think it is so important to talk about those moments. You can read blogs or look at Instagram and Facebook and see a million happy photos of people, but it is pretty rare to see a down time. Most people don’t want to share those moments. It could be because it shows a weaker side of us or because it’s never pretty. But it is real and raw, and important.
The last few months for me have been a really big wake up call. I started to feel myself fall back into a depression that honestly I hadn’t felt in a long time. I have dealt with depression and anxiety since I was about 14 or so but this time was different. This time I was happy and depressed. Contradicting, I know.
There are areas of my life where I can’t even begin to express how happy I am. I have an amazing boyfriend who is probably the most supportive person I have ever met. He is there to help me brainstorm ideas for my business. He talks me through moments of severe anxiety. And every moment I am with him I am happy. I also just graduated with my four year degree that I worked my ass off for and even got the most amazing gift of a kayak that I have been dying for. But at the same time I have overwhelming sadness and anxiousness. I have a tendency to get really worked up over nothing and always feel like I am on the edge. It’s frustrating.
Over the last week or so I have been really focused on figuring out what exactly is going on with my mind. I have been talking to people about the way I feel and meditating to clear my thoughts. I have been doing everything I can to change the habits that are fueling this madness. And crazy as it may be, I feel better. I would not say I am on top of the world yet but I am feeling lighter. I am freer in a sense.
There are still things I need to work out and paths I need to take, but I am getting there. I have a plan and I am looking forward to where it takes me. And this is how we come to this post. I figure I should share the wealth and let you know what I have found so far that is helping me. Now you can try these and see if it helps you but just know not everything works for everyone. Hell, next week this whole list could change and things could be going better that way. But for now this is what I am trying and the results so far are pretty great. So here you are!
Talk It Out!
This is something I have a horrible time doing but my god it is everything. Talk to people you love and who care about you. And don’t sit there thinking no one cares, there is always someone. Shit, I care about you. If you need to, write me an email and we will work this all out together. Talk about the way you feel and what you think is causing it. What areas of your life are you not happy with and wish would change. Get it all out into the universe and feel the relief.
Some people have a tendency to want to help you come up with solutions to fix those problems. You have the option before going into this conversation to be open and willing to take suggestions and actually try them. Or let them know you just need to rant. I have been in situations where I needed one or the other, but I have found that listening to their thoughts and ideas of how to change is actually really beneficial. They have a completely different perspective that your mind will not let you see. So listen, they may have the answer.
Here I go again with the mediation stuff. I am sure if you are anything like me this seems like a big ol’ hassle for nothing. But just try it. I have been fighting it for so long. I have this fear of giving up control. It is something I have seriously NEVER been good at. Somewhere along the line I became a little control freak of my own mind and body and figured my thoughts alone could fix it. They can’t.
So give mediation a shot. There are so many ways you can meditate, you just need to find what feels good to you. There are people who meditate while running, or walking, or sitting in silence. You can use guided meditations or mantras. There is so many ways to clear your mind that there is going to be a way for you. One of the newest ways I have been meditating is with beads and mantras. I have a very difficult time keeping thoughts from coming into my head when I sit in silence. So I speak a mantra out loud and so far it has been amazing. I will make a post soon to explain all of the different ways you can meditate.
Try A New Thing!
I can hear it now, the fear you have screaming, “NO!” But seriously, go try something new! Go do something different and out of the ordinary. Go for a hike, take yoga, go to a class, read a book, something! Just do it. The fear and anxiety in you is going to scream to do the opposite but trust me, it is good for you. The fear in your body is cozy the way things are and it wants nothing to disrupt that. But if we stay stagnant like it wants we are never going to be happy. We will never experience excitement and enthusiasm.
So get up tomorrow and do something completely out of your comfort zone. And then the next day do another thing. And if it goes bad, so what?! You put yourself out there and you need to keep doing it. If you do amazing things will come your way and help you along the way to doing what you want and being who you want.
Set A Goal.
This may be the hardest thing I can tell you to do. If you are truly down and lacking every bit of motivation, creating a goal seems impossible. But trust me, you can do it. I am not asking you to create a goal of a huge business plan and figure out where you will be in five years. That is too big for most of us to attempt with no previous goals. For right now I want you to create goals that challenge you to get up in the morning. A great goal is to create a morning ritual and do it for a month. It can be difficult but you can do it and will be better for it in the long run.
These goals can be drinking more water, writing every day, meditating every morning, or even something as simple as getting out of bed with the sun. I am sure it sounds horrible, but give it a shot. That goal gives you something to work on. It gives your mind a rest from going a million miles and hour while it finds a better way to achieve that goal. And once you feel good about that goal, create another and another. Keep going with it. But make sure these goals are going to benefit you. No goals to drink every night or to sleep all day. That does nothing good for you.
Remember, Everything is going to be okay.
This is probably the hardest thing to do. When you are down and life keeps kicking you it really can be hard to see the light. It can seem like nothing will change and that this is just how you are meant to live. But I promise you, everything is always going to be okay. If you have had plans and goals and suddenly something drops in front of you and ruins them, trust me it is not gone. There are ALWAYS paths and wants to get to your goal.
I had a huge plan of moving out with my boyfriend in September. At the time I had a good paying job and was using that as a way I was going to do it. And then I lost that income. I thought there was no other way, I had to live at home for longer. But there are always ways. There are other jobs or ways to make money, there are smaller houses, and even the option to have him move in to my home. It is not ideal or exactly what we want but it is an option to get us to where we want to be.
You have to learn to see things in different perspectives. Try to look at your situation like you are your friend. What would you tell your find in that spot, what other ways can you get to that place. Life is never cut and dry or black and white. There are millions of ways to get to one destination. If that path did not work there is a better, easier path around the corner. You will find it and life will be so much better than you ever expected.
I hope that this information helps you. I hope that you find a way to get out of this place and live the life you always wanted. Remember that there are people out there to help you, and the universe always has your back. Trust it.