Gaining Confidence

Confidence is something I have always struggled with in my life. It often flows with my level of self esteem and how I feel in my own skin. As you can probably imagine my two biggest lows were in high school (Yay puberty and hormones) and at my heaviest weight. I have always come off as a highly confident person but more often than not it was a cover. But oddly now, I don’t have to try as hard it just comes naturally.

Self love really does wonderful things. When you are showing yourself even small acts of love you are gaining a little love for yourself and your self esteem and confidence is going up! This was something I didn’t even notice until I started sharing my story on Instagram. A year ago if someone told me I should show the world what I am doing I would have told them to fuck off. I hated the way I looked and felt like I would only get negative reactions, and yet here I am a year later doing just that.

An amazing thing about gaining self confidence is that you do things you normally wouldn’t. One thing I have done over the years is get on dating apps and see what was out there. Every time I would find someone that was interested in getting together, but I would never let it happen. I was too afraid that they would think I tricked them or lose interest because I wasn’t healthy or in shape. I would always feel like I had to leave a little disclaimer for them that I am not skinny and I have a “little extra” going on and not in good areas. And as you can imagine that doesn’t come off well. Who wants to hear someone telling them how fat they think they are. Hello low self esteem! 

I think I have gone out on two dates with guys I met on a dating app and each time it ended in a terrible low for myself. I started giving into self doubt and negative self talk about every single little thing I sent them or how I acted in person. Neither of those guys were really worth my time, but that is a completely different topic. So when I started to notice how much I loved the way I looked and how great I felt, I once again decided to hop on an app and see what the world had out there for me. And BOOM, I have a date tomorrow. Yes an actual date with set in stone plans. Crazy, I know.

Now I am sure at this point you are asking yourself, “when is this chick going to tell me how to do that!?” Well how about now silly! But I should warn you this takes work and honestly a little faking it. It will not be easy at first, especially if you are feeling really down. But working on one thing at a time and trying new things can really help. There are many different ways you can practice self love and find a way to boost your self esteem.

Here is a  list of things to give a shot, I mean really what could it hurt.

  1. Meditation

    • Meditation is one of those things that EVERY health blog or happy person will tell you. It was one of the hardest things I had teach myself to do and put my ego aside. I always thought that meditation was for hippies or weirdos and wouldn’t actually do anything. Turns out I am a hippy, weirdo and it does do something. I always recommend using guided meditations to start. The Honest Guys on Youtube are one of my favorites. They have meditations for just about everything, even self esteem and confidence! YAY! They also have sleep talk downs and amazing relaxing music. Start slow and take your time. Let thoughts come into your mind and then fade away. It is a practice for a reason.
  2. Affirmations

    • I won’t lie about this one, I do not do these often but when I do I tend to feel like a badass. I don’t normally do the normal affirmations such as, “you are a great person” or, “you look amazing today”. Mine tend to be a little more odd and funny because it is the only way I can take them in. So mine are along the lines of, “God damn you look hot today and that booty!” or my favorite, “You are fucking awesome, keep kicking ass today”. Affirmations can really be whatever you want them to be as long as they are positive. Say them a few times to yourself or in the mirror. Whatever you are comfortable with and can really believe. Because you are fucking hot and you will keep kicking ass today!
  3. Working out

    • Alright I know this one sounds like hell to a lot of people but I promise it will make you feel amazing. When I say working out I don’t mean going to the gym and run or lifting heavy things while grunting, though I do like those things minus the grunting. I mean it more as anything active. Go for  a walk, hike that trail by your house, play basketball at the park, hit a ball as far as you can. Anything that gets your heart rate up and you having a great time. It has been shown that physical activity not only makes you feel good because it releases endorphins but it also makes you look good. And looking good means you feel good!
  4. Eating healthy and pretty foods

    • One of the most amazing things I had ever heard was from a girl name Alyse from a youtube channel called Raw Alignment. She had said something along the lines of making your food pretty and presentable because it shows yourself self love. I loved that! That is why when I post pictures I have tried to make my food colorful and pretty. It is such a small act but it makes a huge difference. It makes you feel special and like you are going out to eat. Such a simple task with such a big impact. So pretty up those plates!
  5. Take a bubble bath

    • This one tends to explain itself. Do something you find relaxing and calming. I always get a good bubble bath, with bath milk, going and have some relaxing music playing, or EDM because I like to rave in the tub. (Yes, I realize how weird I am.) This little bit of relaxing fun helps me get a great night’s sleep and makes me smell amazing! All three are great things.
  6. Make your bed each morning

    • This is another one of those tasks that is just so small and yet makes a huge difference. You know that amazing feeling of getting into a warm clean bed. When you know you just cleaned your sheets and everything smells so good and is so comforting. That is what it feels like every night if you make your bed in the morning. And for all you out there that shave your legs, the feeling is a million times better! So take that extra thirty seconds to a minute in the morning and make your bed for your later self.
  7. Declutter your home

    • Now this can be one that is a lot for people. It was for me and still is to this day. This is something you take in stages and never all at once. My first recommendation is to start with your closet and get rid of all clothes you will never wear again or don’t fit. Start by having four piles: keeping, donating, trash, and not sure. Donate the ones you have to donate, throw away anything you can’t donate, and hold on to that not sures. If after an extended period of time, maybe three months, you do not wear it, donate it. Not only will you get rid of those clothes that make you feel bad, but you get to feel good about giving clothes to someone who doesn’t have any. You can do this with just about every room in your house, but take your time. It is not a competition or a rush.
  8. Decorate your room or house

    • This is one of my favorite things. My bedroom is decorated in a way that I love. I look forward to going in there each night. It just has a good energy that makes me feel happy when i lay down to sleep and when I wake up in the morning. Decorate it and move the room around in whatever way makes you feel good and happy. I let the sunlight come in my room all day and in the morning. I love waking up to a bright room and knowing it is a new day. I also have amazing wall art up that is bright and beautiful. But do whatever makes you happy. It is all about you after all.
  9. Wear that outfit you love but think you can’t pull it off

    • I am here to tell you this is a difficult one for most of us. I have a few outfits that I have help on to that I just can not seem to find a time to wear. But that is a lie, there is always a reason to wear them I am just scared to. We all have this negative talk that tells us something bad about ourselves or what we wear. But let me tell you, you are dressing for you not anyone else. So wear that outfit! You look amazing in it. Put it on and stand in from of the mirror and admire how great you look, then walk out that door and show the world the new self loving, confident you!
  10. Go try the things and places you have told yourself you would

    • Now lastly, my favorite part. Do everything you want to do. There always seems to be things that get in the way of doing what we want to do, but there are always solutions. So if you see a problem, find the solution and do it! I have a list of things I want to do and see and be. So each day I work a little harder to get to where I am able to do them. One of my favorites is cliff jumping at Blue Pool in Oregon. A friend of mine and I went there over the summer and she jumped in. As soon as we left I regretted not taking the plunge. So it is now on my list and hopefully next summer when I am there, I will do it.

Take the risks you never thought you should and love who you are. Everyone is different for a reason, it is what makes us all so amazing. It just takes one small act of self love to get the ball rolling. So do something today. Let me know what leap you took today or any other ways you practice self love. And remember, you are all amazing and beautiful people. Thank you for reading!



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