Let’s talk about pain.
Pain is something we never truly talk about. Yeah you will hear people talking about the pain of a sprained ankle or the pain of the bruise they got but you never hear about chronic pain.
This type of pain can destroy lives. It takes over your mind and body and makes you feel like a slave. You do anything and everything you can do to get rid of it, but it’s strong. Sometimes you feel like there is nothing else you can do and you are completely beaten down. This is how I have been feeling lately.
I have a few conditions called Lumbar Spondylolisthesis, Lumbar Spondylolysis, scoliosis, and arthritis. In basic terms what all of that means is that the lower bones in my spine have shifted forward and are resting on my pelvic bone. This has resulted in fractures to my spine and the progression of arthritis. In addition to that my spine is curve very far forward. The only way that I can get my back to be straight is by lying down and holding my legs up.
For the last almost year I have been dealing with back and leg pain due to the nerves in my spine being crushed. This lead to doctors’ visits and physical therapy. During physical therapy we are trying to strengthen my core and other muscles to relieve the pressure. But my body has been fighting every single step of the way.
We have to fight the muscles to get knots and out relax, only to end up with bruises and more knots. My alignment has been getting consistently off and my back does not want to pull straight. As you can imagine, this is extremely frustrating.
The reason I am sharing all of this with you is because we forget the effects that our body can have on our minds. Throughout all of this I have felt my mental health drastically drop. I have a tendency to snap at people who do not deserve it and I always feel a bit low.
I was sitting in a yoga class the other day taking about lower back pain and fear. The instructor explained that if you feel pain in this area it is likely because you are living in fear. Something about that really clicked in my head. I am a believer that when you feel physically is the universe or your minds way of telling you it is time for a better direction.
Sometimes the only way we listen is by feeling the pain of our mistakes. I think this pain is the perfect example. I have been living in a constant state of fear and anxiety. I have let it control the things that I do and the way that I feel. I have been using phrases that tell the universe exactly that.
I call myself “broken” when I talk about my back. I use terms that keep me in the mindset of pain. I always say I am going to try something new that may help rather than say I am going to fix it. This mindset is what pushes my body back to its original state and is what is helping my body fight against all the good we are doing to it. I am telling the universe that I am not ready and I do not want to change. But I do.
What you say and think really is powerful. It tells not only yourself but everyone and thing around you what you truly want. You may be saying,” I want to be healthy and strong and healed”, but the words you use and the way you talk about yourself and your problems is putting out a very different position.
So think of something causing you any kind of pain, or even something setting you back. And let’s make the active decision right now to change the way we think and talk about it. Let’s remain positive and avoid saying negative things about it. Instead of saying I am broken I am going to say I am healing to something better. I am going to remind myself and the universe that I am grateful for the ability to still walk. I am grateful that I can hold my bladder and feel all of my lower body.
Changing the way we talk about things and the way we feel about them will help change situation. If I am not dwelling on all of the negative then I am focusing on the things I can do. I am listening to my body and mind and am accepting the change. So what is the universe trying to tell you? Are you going to dwell on the pain or accept the change?